Discovering a Spiritual Journey
Today I will commence a 12 week course called the Artist’s Way, which (hopefully) will bring me closer to my creative side. Through creativity lies enlightenment or ‘God’ (whatever that might mean to you. I say ‘higher being’ or ‘Universe’). This 12 week program is a series of exercises, such as the Morning Pages, Artist’s Date and intense weekly work that ultimately allows you to tap into a higher power within yourself.
To preface why I am turning to the Artist’s Way, I will say that I feel first and foremost, lost. I was building a life (and stoked about this life) with someone, which was all of a sudden ripped away from me. It has left me very confused, lost and insecure. I could very well escape all of these feelings and keep myself busy and distracted (which A LOT of people do). Instead, I have decided to sit with my sadness, loneliness and emptiness. This might sound intense, but IT IS!! Yes I break down. Sometimes it’s every day and sometimes it’s once a week. We all have these intense feelings, especially during a life change.
BUT, I decided to put all of this energy into healing myself, so here commences the Artist’s journey. I have always questioned what spirituality means to me. It’s something that pushes me into an existential spin (EEK!!!). I do believe in karmic energy, a higher power and the ‘Universe’, but I often have a hard time applying these concepts to my life and recognizing them on a daily basis. Additionally, I have a very difficult time surrendering to the Universe and giving up control (as most of us do!).
I have had a copy of the Artist’s Way for about ten years and never felt compelled to do the work. I was certainly too young and not yet self-aware. This book recently showed up on my lap in a karmic way and I truly believe that is a message from the Universe saying ‘the time is now’. Now at this crucial turning point in my life. Now, when I am feeling a little broken and out of my league. Today, I promise myself I will put in the hard work, I will commit to myself and be as true as I can possibly be through this process. I joke that I am sleeping next to about five or six books right now, when many say I should be going out and dating. But this journey feels so right. I promised myself, no boys, only books for the next few months. I will hibernate this winter. I will mediate. I will write. I will do some creative shit. I will reflect and learn how to be still with myself. No excuses, or distractions.
Here’s to 12 weeks of me, myself, and I! The good, bad, ugly and unknown.